I'm WHAT?! (PART 15)

this fan fic simply rocks like all your other ones
so this last chapter was super simply amazing and i love it
especially when they start singing monsoon ohh howw cutiee
bitte write the next chapter
i know you ve got other fan fics
ill try to be patient --->well i dunno if that can happen to me

omgggg beautifullllllllllllllll


like mehrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr nowWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!?

Sorry for the long wait...I have a new project and Sav can vouch, its bloody good!! You'll find out what it is soon enough! This is dedicated to everyone who left me comments and to all those who are voting for me! thanks guys!

Sorry its so long...i got carried away....if you can believe it, it was longer xD

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We did end up staying at a hotel the next night, much to the chagrin of my family. We booked into the Radisson down in Paceville; fancy rooms and grand gestures…just like Bill liked it. But I was fine with it…the room we got had a huge, lavish bed which I loved to snuggle up under and just relax. Bill never complained…he was being honest when he said he could sleep forever.

I was having the most wonderful dream…it was just me and Bill in the middle of a large meadow, basking in the sun’s warm rays, lying beside one another in the grass without a care in the world. There were no screaming fans, no vocal fears, no babies, no families…just us.

I jumped a mile when I opened my eyes and saw a pair of large, hazel eyes staring back at me. It took me a moment to realize it was only Bill, but my heart was still racing.

“How long have you been up?” I asked, once the shock wore off.

“about half an hour I guess,” he replied with a shrug.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I know you’ve not been sleeping well,” he replied, stroking my cheek gently. “I thought I’d leave you sleeping…plus, I like watching you sleep.”

“Do you know how creepy that sounds?” I said, giggling quietly.

He mumbled something unhappily.

“What did you say?” I asked, smiling.

“You don’t find it creepy when Edward does it,” he replied, blushing a crimson colour.

I laughed out loud then. It took a few minutes for the giggles to subside and when they did he looked thoroughly put out.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, pouting.

“Its cute how you’re trying to model yourself off of a character in a book,” I replied, grinning at him.

“Well you seem to like him so much,” he said.

“But he’s from a book,” I replied, giggling.

“And a movie!” Bill replied. “we’ve seen New Moon 15 times.”

“Maybe we should make it 16,” I mused, giggling as Bill blanched.

“Ok, I love vampires and all,” he started, looking pointedly at me. “But it’s getting old now.”

“Don’t worry, Eclipse comes out in another 7 months,” I replied, sitting up slowly.

“Oh yay, more mooning over the vampire,” he huffed.

“Actually, I prefer Jacob,” I grinned in response. “Now that is a fine hunk of a man.”

Bill grumbled and turned away from me, getting up out of the bed. I grabbed his arm before he could move, pulling him back down. He stumbled and landed half on the bed half on me.

“You know you’re the only man I lust over,” I said, looking deep into his eyes which were inches from mine.

“But I’m not a vampire,” he replied.

“It’s a good job you’re not, if you were you’d kill me with just a look every single night,” I replied, licking my lips. “You would make a hot vampire though…biting me…”

He gave me a weird look. “What is it with you and biting? You have a fetish,” he said with a giggle. “aww that’s so cute.”

“Um thanks…I think,” I said, shrugging. “Want to indulge that fetish then.”

“Do we have the time?” he asked, looking at the clock briefly.

“We have twenty minutes, told Sav to be here at 12.30,” I replied.

“Perfect!” he grinned in response before capturing my lips in a kiss. He kissed me ferociously before pulling away and leaving a trail of little wet kisses down my jaw line to my neck. I shivered as he licked and sucked the sensitive skin there before biting down on the flesh, not too hard but hard enough to leave a mark. I groaned in pleasure as the pain from that bite increased everything I was feeling.

He pulled away and I groaned unhappily. “Wow, you really do like the biting thing.”

“And you like how much I like it,” I replied, winking at him. He blushed at what I was implying and went back to my neck to continue biting and licking. Before he’d gotten much further, there was a knock on the door.

“Guys open up!” This was followed by a ferocious pounding on the door.

“Alright Sav hang on, I’m coming!” I called out, loud enough for her to hear me.

“Ew!” she said, and I rolled my eyes at her imagination. I rolled out of bed and slipped a large t-shirt over my head before making my way to the door.

“You are such a fucking whore,” I said as I flung the door open. “Your mind lives in the gutter, seriously.”

“Excuse me for always assuming the worst of you two,” she replied, strutting into the hotel room as she spoke. “But usually I’m right.”

“What the hell are you doing here so early?” I asked, deciding to change topic.

“What, I can’t come by and see my best friend a little earlier?” Sav asked.

“Ever thought of calling to announce you’re on your way over?” I replied smartly.

“Why, did we interrupt something?” she asked smarmily

“No,” I said, but I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

“Of course not,” she said, rolling her eyes. “what’s that on your neck then?”

I raised a hand to cover the area Bill had been biting, hoping to hide it, not realizing that acting like this would only make it more obvious.

“so you finally did the vampire thing then,” Tom said, turning to look triumphantly at Bill.

“You’ve been planning this?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He blushed brilliant crimson. “No, I was just talking to Tom about the vampire obsession you have.”

“I told him he should try it,” Tom shrugged in response. “Did it work?”

“Why don’t you both leave and we’ll find out,” Bill responded.

“Hah I knew we were interrupting something, didn’t I tell you we would!” Sav grinned triumphantly. “Tom you owe me new shoes! Shopping time!”

“But Sav!! I don’t want to go shoe shopping,” he whined. “I didn’t even want to leave the house this morning.”

“Tom you promised to get me shoes,” Sav replied. “We have to go shopping now.”

“Do we have to?” I asked, looking pleadingly at Sav. “I’m really not up for shopping right now.”

“What’s wrong?” Bill asked, rushing to my side. “Any pains?”

“No no, I’m fine,” I replied quickly. “I’m just tired to be honest and I really don’t feel like traipsing around shops looking for shoes of all things…its depressing…even my feet are getting fat, I can barely squeeze into my boots.”

“Not the stripper boots!” Bill exclaimed, aghast. I nodded in response and he let out a slight wail. “But I really like those boots!”

“Oh we all know that,” Sav replied, rolling her eyes. “But more to the point…I can’t go shoe shopping alone!”

She pouted and gave puppy dog eyes to all of us. Hah, she could give those eyes all she wanted…I was finally immune.

“If you guys want to go shopping then go, but I’m just gonna relax here for the day,” I shrugged.

“You can’t stay here alone,” Bill replied.

“I’ll stay with her!” Tom piped up, shocking us all with the volume of his voice. Sav and Bill looked at him in confusion. “I don’t want to shop but Bill does so Bill and Sav you guys go shopping, I’ll give you my card for the shoes. And I stay behind and keep Chlo company, that way we’re all happy.”

“I dunno…” Bill said skeptically.

“Bill! Come on, I know you want to shop, go, I’ll be fine with Tom. It’s not like you’re leaving me alone with some random guy…its Tom!” I exclaimed, desperate to get out of shopping.

“Come on Bill,” Sav pleaded, turning her full charm on him. He dithered for a few minutes before complying. She squealed and grabbed him by the arm, snatching the credit card Tom held out to her before dragging him out of the room without so much as a goodbye…she really did love shoes.

“That was relatively easy,” he said, turning to look at me. “So, um…aren’t you going to get dressed?”

“Thank you for noticing my half dressed state,” I rolled my eyes. “Does Bill know you’re checking me out?”

“I’m not checking you out,” he replied. “It’s not my fault I pick up on half naked women, it’s a gift.”

“What a gift to have…the art of being a perv,” I said, grinning at him. “Admit it; you want a piece of this.”

“Not anymore I don’t,” he said.

“Oh, so you did once?”

“Are you kidding me, a stunner like you,” he grinned cheekily. “Of course I wanted to take you for a few rounds in my bed…but then Bill was in love with you instantly. I have no idea what you did to him, but it was hilarious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know how long he spent just staring at his phone, wondering whether he should call you?” he continued before I could answer. “Four hours!”

I grinned happily as he spoke about Bill, my favourite topic

“Two years ago,” Tom mused, looking at me. “How time flies and now here we are…here you are…and soon they’ll be here…my nephews or nieces.”

“Things sure as hell change in two years,” I said. Suddenly I felt slightly dizzy so I plopped down on the bed.

“Are you ok?” he asked nervously, coming to sit beside me.

“I’m fine, it’s just catching up with me…two years and here I am, knocked up. At least Bill’s stuck with me through all this.”

“You thought he’d leave you?” Tom asked.

“To be honest…yeah, I thought he’d leave me when he knew I was pregnant,” I replied sheepishly. “I was so worried, I wasn’t actually going to tell him.”

“I think he would’ve noticed when the little bump started showing,” he said. “Flaw in your plan there.”

“There wasn’t going to be a bump at first,” I said quietly.

“What do you-oh!” he exclaimed as he understood. “You were going to…”

“Don’t tell Bill, please,” I begged. “But I was so terrified of fucking things up for him, of ruining his career that…the only logical thing was to get rid of them before he ever knew.”

He sighed heavily. “wow, what made you change your mind?”

“Dunja said I had to tell him,” I said, shrugging. “And when he reacted so happily, I knew I’d made the right decision to not get rid of them.”

I leant back against the pillows once more, placing a hand across the little bump of my stomach which was slowly growing with each day. I’d developed an irritating habit of rubbing the little lump continually.

“I’m really glad you didn’t get rid of them,” Tom whispered after a few moments. He shuffled up the bed and sat beside me, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer. He really was like a big brother to me.

Tom placed a hand upon the bump, pushing my hand out of the way and taking its position in the rubbing process. I sunk into his comforting embrace. We sat in silence for a while as Tom continued to feel the bump. Finally, I decided to break the silence. “Tom…um…does Bill ever talk to you about me?”

“Yeah,” Tom replied. “Why?”

“Um…what does he say?” I pressed.

“So many things,” Tom shrugged. “Mostly it’s about sex, actually. You make him so nervous, like a boy getting ready for his first time.”

“Does he ever mention how he feels about me?” I asked, biting the bullet.

“Of course.”

“What does he say?”

“What’s this all about?” Tom asked, ignoring my question. “Why are you asking me about his feelings?”

I sniffled and tried to hold in the tears I could feel building up. “Wh-when we were in America, that bitch said he didn’t really love me…she’s always said he’d never love me because of who I am and how I look…and I’m starting to think maybe she’s right. Why would a guy like that love a girl like me? He’s so beautiful and so amazing and I’m just a short, stubby little blob who somehow managed to weasel my way into his life. How long will it be before he realizes he doesn’t want me anymore…because he can do so much better?”

I was full on crying now, burying my head in Tom’s shoulder as I sobbed. It felt good to let my fears out and tell someone. It’d been so long since I could tell someone about my Bill fears. I didn’t even feel comfortable talking to Sav as much as I used to…she was always too busy with new friends or with Tom….I felt like I didn’t matter, like nobody cared about my fears.

I told him all of this and by the time I was done, my voice was hoarse and my eyes sore from sobbing.

“Ok first of all stop this right now,” he sighed, wiping the tears away. “Of course people care about you. I care for a start, so do Georg, Gustav, Sav, Dunja, we all care. But most of all…Bill cares. Don’t you ever doubt how he feels about you. The things that girl said were lies, she just said them because she was jealous. You silly girl, Bill loves you more than anything in this world and you’re doubting it because of what some jealous bitch said. He’s never going to realize he doesn’t want you because he does want you…he’s wanted you from the first moment he saw you at that concert two years ago. We went off stage and the first thing he said to me was ‘Tom, I think I’ve found her’, the girl he sang ‘Scream’ with, the girl he sang ‘Monsoon’ for. Even on that first night, he sang ‘Monsoon’ for you and every night since he’s sung it for you.”

Tom grasped my hand in his before continuing. “You mean the world to him. The only thing that means more is the band and you know why that is. If Tokio Hotel didn’t exist, you’d be number one in his life.”

“I’d still be second,” I replied with a slight grin. “I’d never take your place. I’d never want to”

Tom groaned. “How can you ask why Bill loves you, or if he indeed loves you at all when you say things like that? Of course he loves you…because you’re you! You look at him as just Bill, you see him as just Bill and nothing else. You don’t care about Tokio Hotel or the fame side of him…all you care about is Bill, you love him for that. And then you wonder why he loves you.”

He stood up off the bed and dragged me up with him, leading me over to the closet where a large full length mirror hung.

“Look in the mirror, and tell me what you see.”

“A short, tubby blob with bad hair,” I replied sullenly.

“Do you want to know what Bill sees? He’s told me this,” Tom said, before continuing. “He sees the one he wants to be with forever. He sees a beautiful woman who has had his heart from the beginning. He sees the one he loves, the one he cares for most of all, the one he writes all those cheesy love songs for. And now he sees one more thing…the mother of his children.”

“Don’t ever doubt Bill’s love for you,” he said with a new ferocity, spinning me around to look at him. “Bill loves you more than anything in this world and if you still have trouble believing me you won’t for much longer.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly confused.

“Nothing.” Tom shook his head. “You’ll understand eventually, it’s not important now. What is important is that you understand how much he loves you and that those two bitches don’t matter, they’re just jealous…trust me! Bill got a catch like you, one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen and those two dogs are stuck with second best. They’ll probably end up crack whores walking the streets for their next fix or something.”

I giggled at his words. He always knew how to break the tension in a room with a little joke. “There you go, smile a little,” he said, brushing a few strands of hair away from my face. “Come on, let’s go lie down for a bit, I could use a few hours of sleep.”

“Um actually…Tom, can we go down for lunch first…they’re hungry,” I asked, grinning sheepishly at him.

“Ok, lets go…wait, get changed first,” he said, pushing me towards the bathroom. “hurry, can’t leave the blobs waiting!”

......AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Tommmm!!!! you sweet guy!!!


haha.... I DOOOO I REALLY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....


:'( that was saaaaaad

more? after you send me that wittle tiny thing.... that i have been reading

awww little Tom hes so god damn sweet.

i want to know whats up with Tom's words those if you don't believe me you'll assure yourself soon(or something like that)
anyway MORE MORE and MORE

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
TOM!
the perfect twin brother who takes care of his brothers gf...
he's so CUTE!

MORE!

ouuuu....

i love this story.. <333

i`ve read the 1. part of it ans it was great as well...

so i want moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore

please dont let us wait too long

<3 u and uyoure storys

omg that wass reeeeeeaaaaalllllllyyyyyy sweet!!!!!
and tom is sooo cute!!!!

one of d best chaps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pls post mehr when u can......................................

oh gr8 chapter
cutie tom sometomes he just can be so mature
soo pls mehr when you can i nhope that berlin ill inspire you hihi

Sorry for my long absence, I was making nice with many boys and foreign people on Fanwalk xD
Enjoy

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Across town, Sav and Bill were searching through the shoe shops, eagerly looking for some killer footwear for both.

“I mean, its not like I don’t love my style, it’s fabulous,” Bill said, rambling on as usual. “But its so damn hard to find anything I like.”

Sav cried out triumphantly, barely listening as she found the nicest pair of Converse she’d ever seen. Immediately she snapped up three pairs in different colours, trying them on eagerly.

“you like?” she asked, strutting up and down, showing off the footwear.

“Perfect!” Bill exclaimed. “Gonna get them?”

“Hell yes!” Sav replied, grabbing all three pairs and heading to the check out. Bill followed eagerly. After paying for the shoes, they headed down the road to a coffee shop…shopping was thirsty work.

“And to think, Tom didn’t want to come,” Sav pouted once they’d ordered their drinks. “Sometimes I think he doesn’t like spending time with me.”

Bill shook his head. “No, its not that, he just hates shopping. I used to try and get him to come with but he always refused unless I bribed him with hats or Samy Deluxe cds.”

“Bribery, sounds like something I’d use,” Sav said.

“Bribery and flattery, best ways to get to Tom,” Bill said seriously.

“And sex,” Sav added.

“Yes and sex, lots of sex,” Bill agreed. “As far as I can tell, offer him sex and he’ll do anything for you. Not that he’s taking any offers since you came along.”

Sav looked at Bill for a moment before posing her next question. “So, before I came along for the summer…did he take any offers?”

Bill shrugged. “A few, not as many as he used to. Besides, you guys weren’t even going out back then.”

“Guess not,” Sav replied. “Good to know he enjoyed his freedom.”

“Hey, he’s Tom, it’s what he does when he’s single.”

“And what about when he’s not single…does he still act like that?” Sav asked.

“no, Tom’s a pretty faithful guy. He only cheated once, and the relationship was ending anyway,” Bill replied nonchalantly. “We found out she’d fucked around on him as well, so it was a karma thing I guess. Why, do you think he’s fucking around on you?”

“Well…no, but I know he could if he wanted to,” she replied, putting her head down. “there are enough girls throwing themselves at him ‘Tom, fuck me’, ‘Tom I need you’ all that shit. What’s to stop him from straying?”

“How about the fact he’s got you,” Bill replied matter of factly. “Yes Tom could go with someone else, but he won’t, he isn’t like that, he’d never hurt you, he likes you too much.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he told me,” Bill said, looking her in the eye. “He told me he wants to be with nobody but you, that he really likes you, he’d never tell you that himself, because Tom’s afraid, but he really likes you. So he’s not going to stray, stop worrying.”

“Can’t help it, its part of me to worry,” she shrugged.

“You’re crazy,” he replied with a shake of the head. “Tom loves you…he told me so, he’s just waiting for the right time to tell you that, to tell you he loves you, the right way. But don’t let him know you know his secret.”

Bill winked at her but before the conversation could continue, their coffees arrived and the two drank in silence, Sav musing what Bill had said and Bill wondering if she’d ever believe him.

“Would you ever lie to me, Bill?” Sav asked after a while.

“Of course not, well, unless I had to, why?” Bill asked.

“So you’re not lying about the Tom thing?” she replied, ignoring his question.

“Oh shut up, you know I’m not lying,” Bill scoffed. “You know he only has eyes for you, and he hasn’t been with anyone else. Please, you saw how he snubbed every other girl who has thrown herself at him since you came along so hush and enjoy your drink before we do more shopping using Tom’s money.”

She giggled as Bill spoke, trust Bill to be so blunt and to the point and yet manage to cheer her up anyway, and she did believe him. He was right; as usual.


Returning to the hotel, the two had to get the extra key to Bill’s room as nobody was answering.

“Where the fuck are they?” Bill asked anxiously.

Sav giggled before pointing at the bed. “there…awww aren’t they cute!”

Bounding over to where Sav had pointed, Bill pounced upon the bed, shaking it violently.

I shot up in bed, the bouncing squealing mass known as Bill having shaken me out of my sleep. “What the fuck?”

“You are so cute when you sleep,” Bill said, smiling down at me.

“Perhaps you should let me sleep a bit longer then,” I replied blearily, rubbing my eyes.

“I’ll sleep beside you then,” he replied, snuggling up behind me and shoving Tom out of the way in the process.

“Wow, I know when I’m not wanted,” Tom replied, rolling his eyes and pulling his caps on, which he must have taken off after I’d drifted back to sleep. “I’ll just go then.”

“Good boy,” Bill replied sarcastically. “Love you really Tom.”

“Whatever,” Tom replied sleepily. “Do I have any money at all left on my credit card?”

“Yes of course!” Sav exclaimed loudly. “We didn’t spend that much.”

“Sure,” he replied skeptically. “Come on Sav, lets leave these two alone for a while.”

“Good, I need to take all of my stuff back home anyway, too many bags,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

“We’ll be back down tonight,” Tom said. “Make sure you guys are ready.”

“Wait, where are we going?” I asked, looking at him curiously.

“Oh, you’ll see,” Tom replied secretively. “Make sure you’re dressed and ready at 8pm.”

He bolted out of the room before I could ask anything else, dragging Sav with him. “Bill, what was he going on about?”

“Shh…it doesn’t matter,” Bill responded, pulling me back down into his arms and holding me close. “Come on, sleep now.”

And sleep I did…

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Comments are much loved and thanks to everyone who commented before! Love you guys

am i allowed to be fangirly at this moment?

i will anyway

AWWWWWWWW OMG HOW SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET AWWW BILL! AWW TOM! YAY ME!


more? aww c'mon more? MORE?! (thats me xD)

oohh!!!!
it was amazing and now i understand what tom was saying before but fuck i dunno what the kindof surprise it is
MORE MORE MORE ok?

please...

i love it
i love it
i love iiiitttttttttttttttttttttttt

MORE! just give me more..u know what i am waiting for

So here you go, another chapter just for Sav and my special guests!! I should get commended for this, not one mention of the rasmus or Lauri!!! Enjoy and thnks for the previous comments, more are loved!!!

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A knock on the door woke me a few hours later. I glanced around frantically for Bill, noting his absence beside me. He darted out of the bathroom and over to the door, flinging it open and whispering loudly “Quiet, she’s still asleep.”

“No, I’m not,” I cut in, slipping out from under the covers. It was so warm and toasty in the room that my eye lids began to droop but I knew I had to stay awake.

“You’ve only just woken up?” Sav screeched, pushing passed Bill into the room. “Come on, we have to get you ready, we’re meeting them in half an hour!”

“Meeting who?” I asked as she dragged me over to the wardrobe where my clothes hung, washed and pressed thanks to the hotel staff. She frantically pulled out outfit after outfit before deciding on a black corset with a black miniskirt.

“Um…Sav, slight problem with that outfit,” I said, motioning at my ever growing bump in response. “Unless you want to crush them into nothing of course.”

She looked at me aghast before putting the corset and skirt away, pulling out a loose black dress instead.

I changed quickly, tugging at the velvet material as it clung to my bump. “I think I might have to buy some new clothes.”

“Good, an excuse for clothes shopping!” Sav exclaimed happily.

“No Sav, its not a happy occasion, I will have to buy maternity clothes and big sizes,” I pouted in response as she helped me into a pair of low heeled, soft leather boots, my witchy boots apparently. She pushed me down into a chair in front of the vanity and attacked my face, putting on as much make up as she could without making me look like a street walker.

“ok seriously who the hell are we seeing?” I asked as she tugged at my hair, trying to brush and straighten the bird’s nest on top of my head “The queen?”

“Nope, just a couple of random hos,” Sav replied, winking at Tom as she spoke. I shrugged, not quite understanding her, but before I could press further, she threw my hairbrush down onto the table and dragged me out of the room, barely giving me time to grab my phone and Bill before slamming the hotel door.

“Ok slow down!” I exclaimed as she ran down the hallway. “First of all, I can’t run, I’m carrying heavy and precious cargo! Secondly, why am I in the heels and you are in the comfy converse?!”

“Because Converse wouldn’t have gone with that dress, it needed some heels,” she replied smartly. “But we’ll walk slower for you granny.”

“Granny? Fuck off; I’m not even mummy yet!” I exclaimed as we came to a stop by the elevators. “Let me get passed that first.”

“Another five months and you will be mummy, so don’t worry,” she winked. “If you didn’t want to be in this situation, you shouldn’t have had sex with Bill, should you!”

“Perhaps you should stop having sex with Tom then, or you’ll be in this situation then,” I replied curtly. “Besides, I wouldn’t stop having sex with Bill for anything.”

“I heard my name and sex!” Bill piped up, interrupting our conversation. “What the hell is going on? Am I being offered?”

“Oh like you don’t get enough you perv,” I said, winking at him. “But well, if you want more…”

He grinned devilishly at me and I took a step back as that look made my knees shake. I walked back into the walk, pressed against it as he looked at me with those eyes. He came closer and now I was trapped between him and the wall, the only thing preventing him from pressing against me completely was the bump. He bent down and captured my lips. My legs turned to jelly as I kissed him back. No matter how many times my lips connected with his soft, rose-petal lips, I would still turn weak with each kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, needing to feel as much of him as possible against me.

A loud ding and an awkward cough made us pull apart. Grinning sheepishly at Sav and Tom, we slid into the elevator.

“Nice look,” Tom said, winking at me. I turned to look in the mirror and blushed as I caught sight of my already flushed skin and red, swollen lips.

“You completely destroyed the lip gloss!” Sav whined. She dug in her bag angrily and pulled out a lip gloss tube, brandishing the thing at me dangerously. “Come here.”

I complied and allowed her to make me up again. I felt like one of those make up heads everyone had when we were younger, not that I would tell Sav that, she might kill me with her eyeliner.

Outside the hotel, a taxi was waiting for us. We climbed in and took off to our unknown destination. After a while, the route looked familiar.

“Why are we going to Valletta?” I asked, looking from Sav to Tom to Bill. All three ignored me. I huffed in annoyance and turned to look out the window. We pulled up at the Phonecian Hotel and walked over to the fountain which was illuminated on this Saturday night.

“Wha-“ I asked, but before I could continue, I heard the loudest squeal ever and was attacked by four pairs of arms. I froze in shock, not quite sure who was hugging me. Finally, they let go and I turned around to see who my attackers were. Standing there were the four greatest people on this island, four people I hadn’t seen in over a year.

“Oh my god!” I said excitedly. “What are you guys doing here?!”

“Sav arranged for us to come and meet up with you,” Kim said excitedly.

“And as there’s the thing going on in Valletta tonight, we decided to all meet here!” Marielle added.

“I’ve missed you guys so much!” I said happily, my smile rivaling Bill’s own 1000 Watt smile.

“We missed you too!” Val said, stepping forward and flicking her hair over her shoulder. I noticed she’d recently styled it; it suited her.

“So how are you mama?” Rox asked, the final member of the group to speak to me. She looked pointedly at the bump before grinning at me.

“Oh, well I’ve been better, but its all good,” I reasoned. “I see you all are quite relaxed around Bill and Tom.”

“On the outside,” Kim supplied, looking at Tom out of the corner of her eye. It was obvious her heart still beat for him. I remembered back to when the twins had come to Malta last Christmas, when Tom was still single but messing around with Sav. Kim had given him the eye, and he had reciprocated whole heartedly, from what I could tell.

Of course, tension had arisen between her and Sav. Though Sav hadn’t officially been dating Tom, she had gotten close to him and knowing that he had gotten even closer with Kim, though just for one night, broke her heart. There were harsh words shared and for a while, neither spoke to one another. It seems they had made up though, which was a relief.

“Yeah, on the inside, I’m going crazy,” Rox added, lowering her voice so the twins couldn’t hear her. “ahh, Bill! He’s so sexy!”

“Don’t I know it,” I replied, winking at the two. “If only you knew the real Bill.”

“well we all know you know the real Bill,” Marielle burst in, giggling. “You’re living proof of what the real Bill is capable of.”

“Yeah, let me just say, thank you for finally proving to all those idiot assholes that Bill is most definitely a man” Val added, grinning.

“Oh trust me, it was my pleasure,” I said, turning to look at Bill briefly. “my pleasure indeed.”

Marielle, Val, Kim and Rox burst into fits of laughter as Sav groaned and turned away. “No more sex talk, please!”

“Fine,” I replied, winking at the other four. “I’ll just tell them instead.”

She groaned and rolled her eyes before stalking to where Bill and Tom stood, slightly back from us. “Can we go now? I’m hungry!”

“Not yet, we’re still waiting for two more people,” the twins replied in unison, very mysteriously.

“Who?” Sav asked curiously. “I thought we were only meeting these four.” She pointed behind her at us lot; all three turned in time to see Kim excitedly rubbing my twinly bump.

“You’re waiting for us,” a familiar voice cut in. We all turned as one to see Gustav and Georg, standing tall, looking at us.

“Gustav, Georg!” I exclaimed happily, heading over to them and giving them a hug in turn. There was a time I would’ve tackled Georg and glomped Gustav but in my condition, that wouldn’t be so intelligent, so I settled for a normal hug instead. Sav followed.

We then proceeded to introduce the two to Kim, Rox, Val and Marielle who hadn’t met Gustav or Georg at Christmas as they hadn’t come with us, preferring to stay home instead. As Val shook Gustav’s hand, I instantly noticed the blush spread across her cheeks as her eyes shone happily. I looked meaningfully at her and the moment she caught my eye, she ducked her head, grinning…oh this was going to be fun. Not as fun as the way Marielle acted as Georg shook her hand. She blushed and fumbled, grinning at him crazily. I had known she liked Georg for a while now so to see the way she acted around him was cute. The Val/Gustav thing was new, I always thought she still liked Bill but obviously, her affection had drifted to someone else, someone new…

…oh this was going to be fun.

“Ok so can we go get some food?” I piped up after the introductions had occurred. “Sleeping all day has meant the twins are hungry…and so am I.”

“Sleeping all day huh?” Kim asked, grinning at me. “Are you sure that’s all you did.”

“Well, mostly,” I replied, winking at her. “Some other things happened.”

“Oh I’m sure they did,” Kim said before bursting into laughter. The laughter echoed around as we walked through the gates and into the ancient city in search of food.

....breathe sav... breathe sav... breathe sav... fuck the breathing!


OMG THAT WAS AAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you Chloe for writing thissssssssssssssssssss!

*gives Lauri...then gives bill*

Tom's .. Flying .. V wrote:

....breathe sav... breathe sav... breathe sav... fuck the breathing!


OMG THAT WAS AAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you Chloe for writing thissssssssssssssssssss!

*gives Lauri...then gives bill*

YES!!! I get both Bill and Lauri!!! (can I have them at the same time)

Oh I feel so spoilt....yum yum yum

chloe = ho

*gives bill AND Lauri at the same time*

amzing!!!!
i liked it alot
MORE

Real kuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!!! Love the way you write!!! I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^ ksenia xD, Chloe does rule the writing world!

For Sav, maybe she'll hurry up and write more
For all my wonderful reviewers (the mighty few)!

-------------

Food was found and eagerly consumed, mostly by me, but that was beside the point.

“Yum, muffin!” I exclaimed, eagerly nibbling away at the chocolatey goodness.

“You are so cute!” Bill squealed, grinning at me.

“Not true,” I replied.

“Yes you are,” Kim butted in. “My muffin with a muffin!”

“Hah that is so cute!” Bill said. “see, even Kim thinks you’re cute.”

“I’m a whale eating a muffin and incubating two beach balls,” I replied.

“No, you’re a beautiful woman incubating our babies,” he responded.

I blushed as he said that, ducking my head before devouring the last of my muffin. “Aww, all gone.”

“Are you pouting?” he asked, grinning at me.

“Maybe,” I said. “Kiss me better?”

He complied, kissing me gently. A resounding chorus of ‘awws’ echoed around us. We pulled away to see Kim, Val and Marielle were cooing and making fun of us. “You’re all just jealous!” I exclaimed.

“No way, I have my man,” Sav replied.

“Whatever biatch,” I said.

“I know I’m jealous,” Val said, pouting. “I want someone to kiss me like that.”

“Me too,” Marielle said, pouting as well.

We giggled together as the two continued to pout so cutely.

“I sense a mission,” I said to Sav and Kim, nodding my head at the two.

“Yup!” Kim replied, grinning at us.

“What?” Bill and Tom asked, not quite understand what’s going on.

“Oh, well, come here and I’ll tell you,” I said, grinning at Bill. I whispered something in his ear, which made him grin happily.

“I like,” he said, smirking.

“Tell me!” Tom whined. “I wanna know!!! Or…don’t I?”

Bill rolled his eyes and whispered in Tom’s ear. Soon, Tom was smirking along with Bill. The five of us shared knowing looks as Marielle and Val watched on, warily.

“What are they saying?” Marielle asked, wide eyed.

“You’ll see,” I replied with a wink. “Let’s go!”

We left our haven of food and bright lights, going out into the cold streets, bustling full of people even at 6pm. Christmas decorations were strung up everywhere as it was fast approaching the seasons to be jolly (or something like that). Lights shone magically and the shop windows were full of beautiful displays.

“It’s so beautiful,” I murmured, as Bill and I walked, arm in arm, glancing into shop windows as we walked.

“It’s just Valletta,” Kim said, rolling her eyes playfully at me.

“hush, you!” I replied. “It’s been a while since I was last here and it is beautiful, ok!”

“Whatever you say,” Kim said. I poked my tongue out childishly at her.

“No, it is nice,” Sav said; she walked close to Tom, his arm slung protectively over her shoulders.

“see!” I exclaimed.

As we talked, all five of us were hyper aware of the remaining members of our group. Val and Marielle walked close by, joining in on our conversation and talking to one another. Georg and Gustav seemed to mirror them in actions, spending a great deal of time talking to one another. Neither of us missed the slight, furtive glances sent back and forth between each pair.

As we walked, the two pairs ended up merging together, as often happens in groups. Though it seemed awkward at first, Mar and Val soon began to talk to Georg and Gustav, though Val’s shyness shone through as usual. She really was working on it; she was a lot more confident than she used to be and I loved that, it was great to see one of my closest friends coming out of her shell.

The conversation soon picked up between them; with Marielle’s hilariousness, Val’s intelligence, Gustav’s ability to listen and Georg’s humor, they were soon laughing and joking together.

“Bill,” I whispered. “Come with me.”

We quietly snuck away from the group, disappearing down one of the darker streets. Phase one, complete.

We headed over to a set of steps in front of a dark and apparently empty house and sat down upon them. It was a relief to sit down for a while; carrying such a heavy load was killing me. He put his arm around me and pulled me close into his warm embrace.

Back with the group, Sav, Kim and Tom were making their swift escape, disappearing into a large shop unnoticed.

It took a while for Marielle and Val to realize they’d been abandoned.

“Shit, where did they go?!” Val asked, looking around frantically.

“Don’t worry,” Gustav replied with a shrug. “Probably down some dark alley or something.”

“Yeah, usual Tom thing,” Georg shrugged.

“And Bill?” Marielle asked.

“He’s become like Tom; its so funny,” Georg added.

“Really?” Val asked, shocked. “I mean, I know Tom sleeps around so much, but I had no idea Bill did!”

“Ja, he’s become really um…,” he flailed for some kind of word.

“Horny,” Gustav supplied, after a few moments of thinking. “IT is not good to have the room next to Bill anymore.”

Val and Marielle burst into fits of laughter. Georg and Gustav grinned as the two girls giggled.

“It is quite distracting,” Gustav continued. “Tom has Sav, Bill has Chloë, we are alone.”

Georg pouted. “Yes, all alone.”

“Not true, you have each other,” Marielle said, grinning mischeviously.

“oho,” Val said, smirking. “So not so many lonely nights for you two after all then.”

“No!” Georg exclaimed aghast. “How could you think that?!”

“That is just wrong!” Gustav added.

“My nights are always lonely,” Georg finished.

“And I thought you’d have a few groupies hanging around,” Marielle said, winking.

“Is that an offer?” he said, smirking.

“Wow, and I thought I was talking to Tom.” Marielle giggled and blushed as Georg eyeballed her.

“He wishes he had as many girls as Tom,” Gustav said.

“You wish you had girls at all,” Georg replied.

“I’m sure he has girls,” Val said, before blushing and ducking her head.

“Oooh, perhaps he does,” Georg said, looking pointedly at Val.

Val blushed harder but looked up through thick eyelashes at Gustav. She was surprised to see he was looking right at her. He smiled at her once he locked eyes with her. His smile sent a shiver down her spine and she grinned back enthusiastically.

“Ahem…sorry to break the mood,” Mar said, coughing loudly.

“I’m not,” Georg said, smiling. “I like breaking moods.”

“I don’t but I usually do by falling over or doing something stupid,” Marielle said, shaking her head and laughing.

“At least you can laugh about it,” Georg said, smiling.

As chemistry fizzled between the group, Sav, Kim and Tom sat in a café, sipping hot drinks and talking. Sav held Tom’s hand as they talked and though Kim glared at their clasped hands, everything else seemed relaxed.

A while later, Bill and I stumbled upon them in our search for something warm; we’d been sat outside in the cold for far too long.

“Where have you been?” Kim asked, looking at us. “We thought we agreed, we’d meet in Gadget.”

“We decided to go sit somewhere quiet,” I said simply as a waitress took our order.

“Just to sit?” Kim said, raising her eyebrow. I blushed but refused to answer.

“Are you serious?!” Save exclaimed, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, how can people call Tom the sex addict, with you two around!?”

“Shut up Sav, nothing like that happened!” I replied, shaking my head anxiously.

“of course,” she said skeptically.

“Oh like you’re so innocent,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You are such a whore, do you know that.”

“Look who’s talking,” she said, looking pointedly at my little bump.

“Nice way to talk about your nieces or nephews.”

“What?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well you’ll be related, duh,” I said. “Well, you will be one day.”

I smirked as Sav understood what I meant and blushed, though glancing at Tom with anticipating eyes.

“I feel so left out,” Kim sighed.

“What, why?” we asked in unison.

“You have Bill, she has Tom,” her voice shook as she spoke. “I have no-one.”

“You have us, you don’t need anyone else,” I said. “And in a few months time, you’ll have two godchildren.”

“What?” she asked, looking up at me.

“Kim, would you be godmother to our twins?” I asked, looking at her. She smiled and nodded happily.

“Thank you,” Bill said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Like I would say no!” Kim said, shaking her head. “That is so cool; are you sure?”

“Absolutely; who else would be good enough for the job?” I said, smiling. “You’re such an important part of my life anyway!”

She smiled happily, all unhappiness seemingly forgotten. We continued to talk and laugh amongst ourselves, drinking numerous cups of Hot Chocolate and scarfing pastries. By the time the other four had finally found us, we were so full of hot chocolate; it was starting to become sickly. The streets had cleared considerably, and most of the shops were closed; a clear sign they should leave. A car was waiting at the City Gate to take us four back to our hotel while another waited for Gustav and Georg, who were staying at another hotel.

We said our goodbyes rather tearfully on my part, though I had a feeling, from the furtive glances sent, perhaps I would be seeing both Mar and Val pretty soon indeed…

LOVED
LOVED
LOVED
LOVED
LOVED
LOVED IT!

omg that was so NICE! i loved it!


*writes furiously*

i fel left out ...y me not there?????

BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
AMAJING CHAPTER as usual!
luv ya for writing this

ahhh that was amzing
well done as always stupid of me saying that
hey chloe more soon right?

So, I've lost inspiration for this story because the forum is kinda....dead. I didn't want to just leave it hanging so I thought I would post this. This isone of the very last few chapters. I've actually had it written for a while but I've been too lazy to re-read it. Considering the way things have gone, I thought I may as well post it, to kinda round things off. If i feel like it and I have some free time, might write the next bit, the last bit. Some things to know! Chloë is about 8 and a half months pregnant now, its roughly May 2011, they're back in German, she and Bill bought an apartment a while back. Tom and Sav have one beneath them, so they're close together but not living with one another. And because I'm cool, over xmas, Pav made a massive entrance, swept Strify off his feet, they went back to his hotel room and haven't been seen much since...she keeps him uh...busy (right Pav )


It had to be divided into two -.-

---------------

The night had finally arrived and we found ourselves gathering at the main arena in Oberhausen surrounded by some of the biggest names in German. It had been a long day before the actual awards ceremony, filled with interviews, final fittings, rehearsals; everything you don’t want when you’re literally a few weeks away from giving birth.

But, we’d made it through and at 6pm, the limo pulled up outside the arena. We climbed out tentatively, and that was when the noise hit. It was like a bulldozer of screams smashing into us and it literally sent you reeling. Grasping onto Bill’s arm, we began making our way down the red carpet, rather slowly; it was hard for me to maneuver in these heels considering the massive bump, making me unstable.

Halfway down the red carpet, Gülcen, VIVA’s celebrity hostess, stopped us in our tracks and interviewed the boys.

“So, you are nominated for five awards tonight,” she began, looking directly at Bill. “how does it feel?”

“It’s so great to know that we have so much support, and seeing all our fans here is just amazing,” he gushed in response.

“Do you think you’ll win?” she asked.

“Well it would be nice but just being nominated is enough for us, we can’t believe it,” he continued. It was all a lie, of course; they knew they would be nominated and they knew they would win at least two of the awards.

She asked a few more idiotic questions before allowing us to leave. The screams followed us into the building and down the corridors as we headed towards our seats in the celebrity lounge, around the left side of the stage.

For the next hour or so we waited as the arena filled up and finally, at 8pm, the show began. Celebrities came and went, accepting awards and repeating the same old, tired speeches we’d all heard, gushing about how they didn’t expect to win. Tokio Hotel won three awards, as they thought they would; Best Band, Best Live Act and Best Album. Cinema Bizarre had beaten them to Best Song and Best Video.

The night was coming to a close. They’d performed their new single from their latest album which had obviously been a hit among all the fans if the screaming was anything to go by. They’d won the SuperComet as well, which wasn’t a surprise considering they had won every year for the past 6years. We had bets placed on how long Tokio Hotel would be allowed to win the SuperComet before they were removed from the voting lines.

All we had to sit through now was the Star of Stars Comet, which would undoubtedly be given to some old, boring guy with a speech that would last about half an hour. We watched Gülcen take the stage along with some ancient looking woman with hard eyes.

“Now, we come to the very last Comet of the evening, the most prominent of awards, the Star of Stars Comet. This award goes to the star who has given the most to the community, to the world,” Gülcen began.

“This award is not about popularity, or pretense,” the old woman continued. “It’s about prestige, and promise, and accomplishments. It’s about putting others first, helping this world, helping our country.”

“It’s a hard decision to make, who should win this award,” Gülcen broke through. “Not something the public can vote for. The Star of Stars is chosen by a select group of panelists, judges, who consider all they have done over the past years. It’s a hart choice, but this year, it was an inevitable one.”

“The winners of Star of Stars, perhaps not everyone will agree with. They haven’t helped in the fight against poverty or AIDs or any of the other things the other nominees have done,” the ancient woman said, with a slight sneer. “The judges believe the winners have done something better. In a time of crisis, of lost authenticity and the struggle of our youth to find themselves, our winners have helped, have averted crises both internally and otherwise with the youth of today.”

“The youngest to ever win the Star of Stars Comets, tonight’s final Comet goes to…” she paused for dramatic effect. “Tokio Hotel!”

Silence. It was the quietest the arena had been all night. We looked at one another, unable to believe Tokio Hotel had won this award…was it real? Were they serious?!

The shrieks began and that was when it hit, this was real! They had wont the Star of Stars Comet. We leaped up as one in exuberant triumph, and leaping was something I couldn’t do in normal circumstances. A look of amazement and wonder crossed Bill’s face as he turned to me and captured me in a bone crushing hug. His lips pressed hard against mine and we kissed passionately, so full of triumph and enthusiasm. When he finally pulled away from me, Tom quickly gathered him in a hug before moving on to the rest of the band members. Once done hugging each other and the management, they walked up to the stage, to collect their Comet.

From then on, things passed by in a blur. Of course, their victory was the talk of the town and we were stopped by hundreds of reports eager for a story. Talking to one of the many reports, it was then that I felt the first twinge, along my left side. I gasped quietly, a short intake of breath, and pressed a hand against my stomach.

“Are you ok?” Bill asked, looking at me, eyes full of worry.

“I’m perfectly fine,” I replied through gritted teeth. “Your daughters have powerful kicks!”

“They must take after their mother in that respect,” he replied with a grin. “Nobody can kick Tom’s ass like you do on a daily basis.”

“Someone needs to keep him in check!” I replied with a wink and a grin. Another sharp pain had that grin eliminated. “I need to sit down.”

“Come on, we’ll get in the limo,” Bill said, dragging me away from the reporters and into the black car waiting for us. Soon, the rest of the group joined us.

“Is everything ok?” Georg asked.

“Yeah, just feeling a bit tired I guess, they’re kicking me to bits!” I exclaimed. “I guess they’re happy!”

“You sure it’s not contractions?” Georg asked.

“No, the doctor said I’d recognize a contraction from any other normal pain,” I replied nonchalantly.

“And this is just normal pain?” Bill asked.

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Look, babe, if you’re not feeling so great, we don’t have to go to the afterparty, we can go home and celebrate,” Bill said, smiling gently at me.

“No way!” I exclaimed. “After a win like that, if you don’t go because of me, you’re the one getting the ass kicking!”

“No seriously, we’ll head back, quiet night in just me and you, we won’t get many of those in a few weeks,” he said sweetly, caressing my cheek. He was using his charmer tactics on me!

“Bill, you are going to that afterparty! I think I will head home though,” I said. “I’m really tired; it’s all the excitement I think.”

“Well, you’re not going home alone!” Bill exclaimed. “If you go, I’m coming with you.”

I looked across the seat at Sav with pleading eyes. “Bill, she wants you to go, if you don’t things will not bode well for you,” she reasoned. “Do it, if you want to keep any manhood you have.”

“Thanks Sav,” he replied with a glare. She shrugged. “Will you go home with her?”

“Are you kidding me? And miss the party of the century?!” Sav exclaimed. “No offense Chlo, I wouldn’t miss this short of you going into labour.”

“I get it, don’t worry,” I replied with a shrug. “I don’t want anybody missing this to come and babysit me! I’ll be fine! I’m just really tired and want to sleep so if you come back with me it won’t be any fun anyway!”

“Bill, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll go with her,” Dunja piped up, interrupting whatever Bill was about to say.

“But Dun, you can’t-“

“Hush! I wasn’t going to the afterparty anyway, I have better things to do,” she said. “Well, I don’t, I have work unlike you lot so I actually need some sleep.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Completely, I need to sleep, you need to sleep, works for me, I’ll crash on the couch at yours and be gone by eight,” she said. “The limo can drop us off no the way to the party.”

The situation was sorted and before long, Dunja and I stood in front of mine and Bill’s new apartment which we’d only just managed to move into. Waving goodbye, the limo disappeared into the darkness and we vanished into the complex and up to the second floor, where Bill and I resided.

Suddenly, I was so tired, it was hard to move, Dunya helped me to bed and sat with me for a while, talking about nonsense. I barely registered what she was saying, everything was hazy with sleep and I drifted into Neverland in no time.

She must have made up the sofabed by herself and gone to sleep out there because when I woke up at 2:51am, I was in bed, completely alone and immersed in darkness. I didn’t know what had woken me at first. Figuring it was just one of those random things that happens, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. That was when the sharpest pain I’ve ever felt shot through my stomach. I cried out, my body reflexively convulsing in on itself. The pain didn’t subside and I began to panic. That was when I felt the wetness between my thighs. Assuming my waters had broken and I was going into early labour, I fought to push the blankets off my body and stumble out to Dunja. With the blankets gone, the stained red sheets beneath me stood out horrifically. Blood. My waters hadn’t broken…I was bleeding.

“Dunja!” I cried out in fear. “Dunja come qui-“

My words were cut off as pain shot through me again. The world swam as my eyes rolled back in pain and through a watery haze I heard hurried footsteps and the bedroom door slamming open.

“What’s wrong?!” Dunja asked frantically, flicking on the light. I can only imagine how bad things looked, me bent over double as the sheets were soaked in blood. “Oh my god what the hell happened.”

“I don’t know!” I said. More pain shot through me and I screamed one more. “Get me to a hospital, now!”

“I’m gonna call an ambulance,” she exclaimed, already dialing the number from her mobile. “Hello, we need an ambulance now! My friend, she’s almost nine months pregnant, she’s in absolute agony and there’s blood everywhere! I don’t know! I don’t know! Please just send someone…hurry!”

Every passing second felt like an hour as more pain ripped through me. Dunja crawled onto the bed beside me and pulled me into a hug. I gripped onto her as the pain continued. Finally, the intercom buzzed loudly and Dunja leaped across the room and out of the door to let the paramedics in. They rushed into the room and began to do all sorts of things, setting me up on a saline drip and checking pulse and pressure.

“how long have you been feeling the pain?” one of them asked me.

“I don’t know, I woke up and felt it,” I replied.

“You felt pain earlier,” Dunja said.

“but it was nothing at all like this,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Ok I need you to take a deep breath; we’re going to roll you onto the stretcher.” I nodded and took a deep breath. They tried so hard to be gentle as they moved me onto the stretcher but the pain was unbearable. I screamed and tried to bend forward, needing the slight relief.

“no, we need you to stay flat,” one of them exclaimed as they strapped me down. I screamed again, unable to hold it in as the pain hit me. They hurried me out of the room and before I knew anything we were in the ambulance screaming down the highway.

The pain was getting worse and I was drifting in and out of consciousness.

“I need you to stay with us!” one of the ambulance men called out. “If you pass out its going to make things worse.”

I tried so hard to stay awake. By the time we got to the hospital, it took all of my effort to keep my eyes open. A team of residents and interns met us at the hospital entrance, and I heard what must have been the Chief Resident talking to the paramedics. I only heard one word, ‘miscarriage’.

They were running with me down the ward and something my grandmother once said came back to me. When there was no hope, they would run, just to make it seem like they were doing something.

We burst into the O.R. and I watched them push Dunja out of the room. Everything burst into life as Doctors were shoved into surgical masks and gloves.

“We need to operate!” I heard a woman say. “This much blood, we need to get inside and get them out, then see if we can fix her!”

“Epidural?” someone asked.

“No time!” another voice said anxiously. “We have to risk using anesthetic, 155ccs of morphine, now!”

A needle was shoved into my arm and instantly, I felt my body begin to numb. I drifted on a feeling of weightlessness, I could see and hear everything around me but I felt nothing. Machines beeped; there was an odd squelching noise as they cut into me, cut open my body. That was when the strangest sensations hit me; I felt them sever the connection between me and one of my twins. It was like my connection to the ground had been severed. I felt myself float on a wave of nothing. I waited to hear that first cry as they severed the connection between me and my other twin. When both cries reached my ears, it was like a sigh of relief. My eyes drifted to the side, to where the large glass panel in the wall was. I saw him standing there, the one who’d captured my heart so long ago, the one who would hold it forever. He was here now, nothing would go wrong, even if I couldn’t make sure first hand that everything was perfect, just like him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, and the beautiful twins he’d created, we’d created, but I was too tired. He knew how I felt anyway. Everything was perfect.

I let the floating continue, up and up until I felt no connection to this world, I closed my eyes…and saw no more.