Not any more.

writing has always been my life.. lately i ve focused a lot on poems.. but i think im going to try it out again.. please leave comments.. i would really appreciate it.

Chapter one - out of the window

She looked out from her window, it was raining very heavily. She flattened her palm against the cold glass, and warm blood trickled down from her wrist. She wondered whether she would ever be able to be happy, whether she would ever be able to smile with out having the fake it and pretend. She couldn’t show how she really felt in front of the others.. they wouldn’t accept her if she did. So she had learnt to hide everything which the entire world frowned upon, and pretended everything was swell and cheerful. When with her friends she would always laugh and giggle when they discussed boys, but deep inside her heart bled. And it bled for only one.. Only one boy. He was everything to her. A very small smile flickered momentarily on her pale lips as she thought of him, as she pictured him perfectly in her mind.
Her eyes changed focus as she looked at her reflection in the glass. She didn’t really know who that black haired person staring back at her with tears in her eyes really was.., no one knew really.

She was beautiful, perhaps a little too thin and too pale as she hadn’t really been eating lately. She had driven herself sick with madness.. there was nothing she could really do to get away from them and everything that had to do with them.. except maybe one thing..

To do it, more blood would have to be shed.. it would either be an extreme lack of blood, or she could escape with the help of gravity..

Wow that was pretty good. You certainly have a talent for writing which shines in this piece. In such a short piece you conveyed a number of emotions so clearly, a thing which many people find really hard. I like it, I'm looking forward to reading more of your fictions if you decide to post more.

tnx! next bit coming soon, cuz im alone at home and im just letting it all out..

Chapter 2 - Problem

She stares into her eyes in the reflection, and her palms turned to fists; her knuckles whitened as her nails dug into her skin. She suddenly pulled herself from the window as if electrocuted.
“Keerah! Keerah come down for dinner!”
She grinded her teeth, and got out of her room, passing a probably a hundred posters till she opened the door. “I’m not hungry” she said decisively, “I’ll eat later” she lied, hoping her mother would shut up.
“You’ve been saying that for days!! Its not healthy if you don’t eat!”
Keerah raised an eyebrow, since when did her mom care about her or her health. Her answer soon came,
“Im not paying for the doctor for nothing. If you get sick it ll be your fault, I don’t need any more problems, Keerah!”
She ignored her and locked her self in her barely lit room. So that was why.. all she was worried about was money for the doctor.. and about problems..
She leaned against a wall, her knees giving way as she slid to the floor. What if that was truly all she was? A problem to those around her. Lifelessly, she raised her blue eyes to look at the posters hanging on the wall. Without thinking, words escaped her lips in a whisper “Is it true.. am I just a problem to the rest of them? To you?”
The face she found so entrancing just stared back at her, emotion less not revealing anything. “What about you..” she whispered “please don’t hate me too..” her voice was pitiful, begging desperately for comfort.
She lowered her head and laughed bitterly “oh god.. I’m talking to a poster” she said out loud. She suddenly realized her wrist was still bleeding “Shit” she muttered, wiping as much of the blood as she could. She ripped a piece of an old shirt and tied it tightly around her wrist. The blood stopped almost instantly. She had got used to it now, and knew how to stop it quickly. She wiped the window, and there were also some drops on the floor. She hid the blade and sighed.. She looked in the mirror “Damn problem” she snapped at the reflection she hated so.

whoa that was very discriptive gr8 job cnt wait to read moreXDXD

Sehr cool, very emotional and very descriptive. I like the name Keerah, it's so different and very original!

thnx btw, this is wierd.. about the name .. i have an issue with names.. umm i spent more time making up the name than i did to write the chapter.. more on the way... im thinking..

ok.. this is especially for RavynK who was my first reader

Chapter 3
She turned away from the mirror, almost screaming in frustration. She hated herself, her image, her life, her name, everything about her seemed wrong. She was too fat, her hair always sucked, and so did her clothes. It was not like she was one of those blondes who were always saying they looked fat but really knew they looked ‘hot’.
She just didn’t feel like she could ever be up to standard to be accepted among her family and the kids at school.. but most importantly she wanted.. actually she needed to feel good enough for him.
Just that one person whom her life depended on. He had such control over her and yet he was so far away. She bit her lip to stop herself from screaming again.. why the hell did he have to be so far away? So famous, so out of reach, so wanted?!
She had to get to him.. one way or another.

The sun rose the next morning all too soon. From the first look it would have seemed clear that her body was indeed lifeless, her eyes wide and staring straight ahead at nothing. Then she blinked.
Her mother screamed for her to get ready from downstairs.
She made her way to the bathroom and took off everything, took a cold shower, and wrapped a towel around her.
As she made her way to her room again, her mother could be heard from a mile away “Keerah, I cant waste my time on you anymore. I have work to do. Do not be late for school! “ and with that final warning the front door was slammed.
Keerah got dressed “ do not be late for school” she muttered. Those loving words from her mom, she thought sarcastically. The last words she would ever hear from her.

(sorry the chapters are so short.. its just my style. that and a huge amount of fullstops usage. oh well.. hope you enjoy it!)

ill post more when i get comments.. plsss..

Wow that was a good chapter. I like how you explain that her hate towards herself isn't fake or just for people to say 'no you're actually perfect blablabla'. It's a very emotional story you're writing, and it's really brilliant, you write as though you actually have first hand experience of these feelings and emotions, of this pain. It's comforting to read it when I myself have felt like this before. You have a gift in writing, you truly do. And thanks for making the chapter especially for me, makes me feel special

Thank you. *blushes*
oh and, ur welcome! thanks for reading! XD



Chapter 4 – Running away

Keerah took off every single poster and picture she had in her room, and put them in a big black backpack, with which she also packed a couple of shirts and a jacket just in case. She had known that she had to do it for ages, and she always planned it at the back of her mind.. each step had been fantasized about before.
But this time it was different. This time it was for real. She was really going to do it, really going to get away once and for all.
She also put two more things, a small black book, in which she kept all here poems and letters she wished he would someday get to read. They were all neatly written, copied from her original poems which were written on almost anything; her diary, bits of paper, and anything else if it stood still long enough.
The second thing was her diary, black and thick and which looked like it had literally gone through hell every time she did emotionally. It looked as if it was ready to explode and blurt out her entire life’s pain and sorrow.
She zipped the bag with some difficulty and slammed the door behind her. The door of her room, of their house, and the door of her past with them.


Her mother came late that evening, and had spent two hours inside the house without noticing her older daughter’s absence. As she went to her daughter’s room, she knocked sharply on the door “Keerah! Keerah, the dishes need to be washed!” when no reply came she got angry and marched in the room, and turned on the light. She looked at the walls, and yet she found nothing.. nothing at all. Panicking, she turned to leave and found a small note with one cold, bitter sentence:

“There’s something I want to say,
sorry I was late for school, mom.”

Keerah had given up on calling her mother ‘mom’ about 3 years before that moment. And she wrote ‘mom’ on the note, probably the last contact she would have with her mother.

(next chapter, I’ll try to put the guys in the picture.)

That was really good. I like that 'sorry I was late for school' bit. It was very witty. I like how the chapters are short as well. They're snappy and to the point. You don't drag on or pull the story out, you get straight in there! Looking forward to more

Mein Gott i just read the chappies =]

The way you write is simply fantastic and very emotional too

Great story =]

Mehr when you can bitte =]

Keep it upp ^^

you guys, thanks so much for the comments! i REALLY appreciate them!


Chapter 5 – The first client’s interesting identity..

After four days wondering the streets of Germany, she had decided to start working as a prostitute. As she was still 14 years old, and a virgin, she was on the agency’s top list. (I don’t really know how those work but anyway...)
As all here tests proved positive and showed that she was clean, many people were calling for her ‘service’. So you can imagine her shock as her boss came over and said she got her first job.
“Listen, make me money, make him comfortable, please him.” He said as if she was just an object. He handed her a sheet with the client’s information and left, saying “be there in 20 minutes”.
She put on fishnet tights, eyeliner, and red lipstick, wore black gloves to hide the scars on her wrists, and left, wearing a coat on top of everything.
She called a taxi and got inside. Reading the paper she gave the driver the address ‘Hilton hotel’.
She sighed, she was about to be used, and she was allowing it.. was this really all she was worth? A few euros to be someone’s toy for a night? She sighed again and looked at the paper.
As she continued to read, the client’s surname hit her..
It couldn’t be.. she read it over and over again.. “Kaulitz. Tom Kaulitz.. KAULITZ” she whispered loudly and high pitched, unable to believe it.
The driver looked at her “you say somethin’?” he said, a cigarette in his mouth.
“What? Oh, no, sorry” she said, instantly returning to the paper.

Name; Tom Kaulitz
Requests: Virgin, younger than 19.
Address 78 WieBen StraBe, Hilton hotel, Zimmer 483

She was screaming inside, she couldn’t believe it.. Maybe it was really all a dream.. and she would wake up soon, and realize her client was some old guy with cigars or something.. The driver stoped infront of the hotel “that’s will be 50 euros” he said roughly.
She paid him excited, and he raised an eyebrow. “I have seriously never seen anyone give me money so happily..” he said. She got out the taxi, and practically flew to the top floor.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this story .. omg right more more more more more PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !!!

this is for all of yah!!

Chapter – 6 – The girl on TV

‘Ding!’ the elevator rang and its doors parted. There it was.. the hotel room door. Room 483.. Typical. Ever since the album came out, the band would always take that room. As she walked towards it, she checked herself in a mirror. She gasped at her reflection, the trashy red lipstick made her look so slutty..
But her eyes showed the truth, and the pain hidden inside her soul.
She sighed as she snapped back to reality.. he wouldn’t care, she wouldn’t get to meet Bill.. Tom would just spend the night with her, pay her and then she would leave.. never to return again.

She got to the door and knocked three times. After a couple of minutes the door opened, and Tom was there. “Hallo” he said, checking her out, his tongue playing with his lip piercing. “come in”.
She entered, and to her surprise, Bill was there also. The second her eyes fell on him, her heart stopped beating for a few seconds, and she couldn’t breathe.
Bill looked at who had arrived and looked back away again, it was just another one of Tom’s ‘toys’. He hated when Tom used girls like that.. it just wasn’t right. He realized something was odd, and instantly looked back at her. She seemed to be familiar..
Tom, still checking her out, was pleased with her. “Bedroom’s this way” he said, sliding an arm around her small waist, and she looked up at him. She remembered what her boss said and instantly faked a smile, “good” she said, and walked with him.

Bill turned on the TV, on the news channel. There was a girl who had runaway a while ago who was still missing. Her picture came up. “Tom!!” Bill yelled.

Tom, who was just about to kiss her after locking the door, groaned annoyed. “one second” he said to her, and unlocked the door. As he opened it he found Bill there, “Get your own” he said smirking at him.
Bill shook his head and pulled him out of ear shot, “Tom” he hissed “it’s her.. it’s the missing run-away girl!”
Tom shook his head “Nein, relax man, stop kidding it is stupid to say that.”
Bill made him look at the TV and there was her picture.. so clear. “It’s her.” He repeated, and Tom’s eyes widened.

Wow those two chapters were really good. I can't believe Tom would get a prostitute! Thousands of girls wanna fuck him and he decides to pay one! He's crazy!! Good writing, I like how in depth you get with regards to her feelings! More please

aww.. thanks. it is pretty easy to get her feelings out. they re practically mine..


Chapter 7 - Busted

Keerah tried to figure out what was up, as far as she knew, Bill didn’t like sleeping with random girls. ‘how could even think that? Am I seriously just a random girl?!’ she thought to herself. Was Bill actually going to join them?!! She opened the door shyly, “Um, guys.. What’s up?” she asked softly.

The twins looked at her, and Bill raised an eyebrow at Tom. “Tom..” he said.. looking from Tom to Keerah and back again. The second he spent looking at her made her heart pound. She blushed slightly, lowered her eyes and bit her lip.
“So what’s up?” she asked again, at which Bill looked at Tom, then at her.
Bill spoke; “Apparently, Tokio Hotel isn’t all that’s on the news..” Tom continued “You are too”
She blinked “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about” she said. Tom shook his head “You’re the missing girl aren’t you? Ran away a couple of days ago”
Keerah lowered her head “shit” she said and stepped back. Then she looked at them.. “wait, you guys are not going to report me, are you?” she said, starting to worry.. she couldn’t handle going back and facing them all.

(this ones a lil short, but i felt like teasing you guys a little! )

No dont tease please dont .. ur story is too gd to stop readin .. CONTINUE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE . xxx.

That was so good and so short!!! Lol what a cliffhanger! looking forward to more

Chapter 8 – Looking at Bill can have its effects..

Tom shrugged “Well yeah...” he said without thinking it through, but Bill noticed something in her voice.. That pain she couldn’t hide from him, not after how many times he had gone through it himself.. “No” he said. She looked at him, surprised and relieved and that’s when it happened.. Their eyes locked.
He looked in hers, feeling her pain, and trying not to imagine what she must have been feeling, as she looked in his, feeling something she had never felt before.. comfort, understanding. She completely lost herself, her head tilting slightly to one side, never breaking the eye contact. The air between them cracked with intense attractions and emotions..
Tom shook his head “why the h-” he started then stopped, gawping at the two of them.
“Fuck Bill, you don’t listen when I say, get your own, do you?!” he said, half-joking.
She instantly lowered her head, her face blushing only slightly, as she had less blood than necessary, “I’m so sorry.. ” she started
Bill looked at him “shut up Tom, is that all you think about?! She’s got problems can’t you see?” he said, suddenly becoming defensive of her.
“Ok ok, I know.. listen I’m not good with this shit, I’m sorry.” Tom said to Keerah, “he is though.. let me know when you work something out” he gave her one of his cheeky smiles, trying to make her feel a little better, and in a few moments, he closed the hotel room door behind him. Tom joined the others in the room next door.In the mean time, Keerah could seriously not believe that she was;
1: in a hotel room
2: with Bill
3: alone.. WITH BILL!!!!
If she didn’t feel so weak, she would have been screaming, but she was too terrified of everything which was going on to even keep track of things.
Bill looked worriedly at her, “Are you.. ok?” he said, instantly feeling stupid for having asked that question. Of course she wasn’t, he thought as he looked at her. He moved towards her again, standing really close, and took her hand in his. She looked down at their hands and up at him, his eyes instantly greeting hers.
This was about as much as she could take, her breathing became short and silent, and within four seconds she had fainted.
Bill caught her just in time, on arm instinctively going across her shoulder blades, and the other around her waist. He held her for a moment, shocked and then sat down, resting the back of her head on his lap. He was really worried about her, but was too scared that she would get taken away from him if he called medical attention and they recognized her.

That was really good, I'm glad someone has finally seen the pain she was in and is willing to help. Bill, the knight in shining armour! Looking forward to more

Morrreeee bitte XDXDXD

Gr8 chappiez =]]

Bill take care of her k?

more when you can =]

thnx for all the comments! luv them! so.. here goes..

Chapter 9 –
Keerah had been out cold for about 2 and a half hours, and Bill was really worried, however he wouldn’t budge from where he was, with her so close to him. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling like that, so protective of her.
He looked at her, her eyes closed, and her lips parted only about 2 millimeters. Without thinking, Bill’s hand touched her fair skin lightly, pulling a strand of hair away from her face. Her breaths had been small and soft, until now.
She took a long one and her eye lids flickered. Bill watched her intently, hoping she would wake.. and she did. “Hi..” he said softly, pulling his hand away from her face and blushing slightly himself.
She looked at him “Bill.. im not dreaming.. it’s you” she said, feeling embarrassed and stupid for saying it. She could only imaging how silly he must have thought she was..
Bill smiled at her “yeah it is, but please don’t faint again.. You scared me” he said, helping her sit up and rest her back against the wall with him.
She buried her face in her hands “oh my god” she mumbled “I’m so sorry, I’m so stupid” she said, wishing she could just disappear into the ground.
“No you’re not, don’t say that..” he said, he pulled one of her hands away from her face and took it in his.. “So.. what happened I understand if you don’t want to talk about it but if you need to talk about it, I’m here for you”
She couldn’t believe it, was Bill Kaulitz actually talking to her on such personal terms? Did he really care about her? Of course not.. or could it be possible.
“You don’t even know me” she whispered “why would you care?” she asked softly, looking down at their hands
“Because I know how it feels to run away from something, or.. Someone” he said “It’s hard, and it’s like you can never put enough distance between you” he said his eyes losing focus as he remembered something from his past.
“Yeah.. then they try to find you, thinking that they’re helping you, but what you really need is for them to stay away from you.. “ She continued, and as she looked up again she found him looking at her. Bill nodded slightly “exactly” he said his voice soft whenever he talked to her.
“So.. do you want to tell me what happened..?” he asked again, careful not to make her feel like he was going to make her tell him or anything. He wanted her to tell him only if she wanted to.

Interesting!!!! Glad she finally woke up and Bill is so sweet in this! Looking forward to more