Dedicated to you [MEMORIES]

OK SO, yes this used to be just 'Please Don't Jump' but I decided since I write sooooooo many one shots based upon songs that I should put them together under one topic so they can be found easily and I can keep track of them. Helps prevent me spamming the forum with my stuff anyway. So most of you have read the oneshot below but I've just posted a new one, check it out and keep an eye out for more songfic oneshots (i'll include the name of the song in the title with each new oneshot!). There one shots are completely UNRELATED i.e. you don't have to read all of them to understand the storyline in another. Here's the official stuff:

Summary: A collection of one shots I've written based upon the moods inspired within me by certain songs

Rating: Will change with each fic but it won't be highed than PG-13

Warnings: Will vary depending upon each fic but I will do a little blurb per fic to let you know what's in it.


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Summary: And if all that can't hold you back...then I'll jump for you. Everyone's seen the Spring Nicht video where Bill tries to save himself but what if that was only a metaphor, what if he was trying to save someone else who was a part of him?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing.


Tom stared out across the vast expanse of the city, looking on in wonder as the lights twinkled brilliantly in the darkness. From here, the whole city spanned before him; magically illuminated by thousands of miniscule lights. No sounds could reach him up hear, not the sounds of cars rushing past down below or the sounds of life beneath him. It was silent, calm, still. He felt so alone up here, like he was the only person alive in this town.

A light breeze drifted along and ruffled his overlarge t-shirt, causing goose bumps to erupt across his bare forearms. He shivered impulsively and wrapped his arms around his chest in order to preserve some of the warmth.

He closed his eyes, blocking out the sight of the world down below. He hung his head in despair and felt a slow tear trickle out from the corner of his eyes, trailing down his cheek before being whipped away by the harsh wind.

He made the decision then and there, standing upon this rooftop, that tonight the world would end.

Down below, far beyond the reaches of his imagination, a large crowd of people had gathered, along with three fire trucks, an ambulance and a few police cars. A section directly in front of the building had been cordoned off, keeping people away from the building.

They were watching him, this boy; this child of no more than eighteen, standing on the rooftop edge, swaying with the breeze. They were waiting for him to jump, every single person thinking the same thing; ‘why?’. Why was this boy so adamant about taking his own life? Why was he doing this? Why didn’t he want to try and live? Why was he giving up?

They had tried to help him. Had tried to call out for him, to reason with him, but whether he couldn’t hear them or he refused to listen, they weren’t sure. All attempts at coercing him to come back down, to put both feet on solid ground had failed miserably and now they stood here, waiting for the inevitable jump, the inevitable fall, the inevitable death. From such a height, this boy would die immediately, his life would be eradicated and he would be no more.

Suddenly, there was a commotion, followed by the sound of a scream.

“TOM!!” a male voice called out. “Oh god, please, no, Tom!”

A man clothed in a long black coat suddenly burst through the crowd. Two police officers were desperately trying to hold him back, not wanting him to go into the building and make things worse. He fought determinedly against them, his long black hair whipping around his face as he struggled with all his might to free himself all the while screaming his brother’s name over and over, voice piercing through the dark night desperately, needing to reach Tom before it was too late.

He managed to slip through their grasp and before they could grab a hold of him once more, two muscular boys stepped out from the crowd and blocked their access.

The black haired boy smiled gratefully at his two friends before racing forwards, bursting through the bright yellow police tape. He ran as fast as he could through the crowd, pushing whoever stood before him out of his way, not caring who he hurt, only caring for his brother.

He made it into the building and began to race up the stairs, ignoring the burning pain in his tired legs and gasping for air as he ran.

Back on top of the roof, Tom stood still, statuesque, staring down at the world below him. He had seen the commotion, just barely, but he had seen it none the less. They were ready for him to come down and meet them; they were ready for him to jump. He inhaled deeply, allowing the frozen air to fill his lungs, savouring what could possibly be his last breath.

Suddenly the roof door flew open. He turned slightly on the spot and stared in shock as the familiar flurry of black that was his brother approached him.

“Tom, Tomi,” his brother began. “Please, Tom, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like, Bill?” Tom replied, turning away from his brother, refusing to look at him as tears cascaded down his cheeks. “I’m about to try and fly.”

“Why?” Bill asked. “Why are you doing this Tomi? How can you do this?”

“I need to do this Bill,” Tom replied. “I need to leave; I can’t stay here any longer.”

“Why not?”

“What’s the point? I have nothing left to live for anyway.”

“Yes you do Tomi!” Bill replied in exasperation.

“Like what?” Tom’s voice was lifeless, emotionless; dead.

“Your career, your fans, what about your family,” Bill begged. “You have everything to live for, Tom.”

“I have nothing Bill, no love, no life, nothing but meaningless sex with meaningless girls.”

“That’s what this is about?” Bill asked incredulously. “About not having a girl to be with? About not having love?”

“Love is everything Bill, you’ve always said that to me, I thought you of all people would understand this,” Tom replied dejectedly.

“What about me, Tom, you have my love!” Bill replied angrily. “What about me?”

“That’s different, your love doesn’t count, you have to love me, I’m your brother,” Tom replied, his voice bereft of any emotion. “You’ll be better off when I’m gone anyway. No more disgusting, chauvinistic Tom to hold you back. Things will be better for you when I’m dead.”

“FUCK YOU!” Bill roared as Tom’s words hit him. Tom’s eyes widened in surprise at his brother’s outburst; the first sign of emotion Tom had shown in a long time. “Fuck you, you piece of shit, I will never be better off without you! You are everything to me Tom! How the hell can you say that?”

“Its true Bill, I can see it,” Tom said, sighing as he spoke. “You’ll understand, in time.”

“Please Tom, just come down from there, we’ll go somewhere and talk, we’ll sort this out just please don’t leave me,” Bill begged, eyes pleading with Tom. “Take my hand Tomi, please, just one chance. We’ll make things better just don’t jump.”

Tom shook his head and turned on the spot. Bill sighed in relief, believing Tom had finally seen the truth and was truly going to get away from the roof edge and come with him. Seconds later, he knew he was wrong. He watched as Tom shuffled closer to the edge.

“Tom, wait,” Bill pleaded. Tom paused in his movements and watched as Bill stepped forward. His eyes widened as Bill climbed up onto the ledge with him.

“Bill, what the hell are you doing?” Tom asked incredulously.

“I’m coming with you,” Bill replied simply, positioning himself at the edge.

“Like fuck you are!” Tom said angrily. “Get off the fucking ledge and get out of here!”

Bill shook his head adamantly, his hair bristling with the movement. “Not without you.”

“Bill, what the hell! You’ll die!”

“So will you,” Bill replied. “You wouldn’t come down, Tom, so I came up here.”

“Why?”

“It’s simple, I do what you do.”

“But you’ll die Bill!”

“Good, I want to.”

“Why?”

Bill rolled his eyes and sent his brother a patronizing look. “We came into this world together Tom and we will leave it together.” He grasped Tom’s hand within his own to prove his point.

“Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not, I’m being serious,” Bill stated. “You want to die, then so do I. I’ll jump for you Tom, I’ll jump with you. You will never be alone, we will never be alone. Without you, my life is meaningless. Without you, I don’t exist. Without Tom, there is no Bill.”

“What about Georg and Gustav? Mum? Tokio Hotel?” Tom begged, needing for Bill to get off the ledge, he couldn’t lose his little brother.

Bill shrugged in response. “None of that matters without you Tom. Without you there is no Tokio Hotel, without you I have no family, no friends, I have nothing without you Tom. So if you go, I go.”

“Please Bill; you have your whole life ahead of you.”

“Tomi, without you, I have no life,” Bill replied. He gripped Tom’s hand tightly. “Remember, together forever, even in death.”

“Please, don’t jump Bill.”

“Don’t jump Tom.”

“I have to.”

“Then so do I. I’ll jump for you Tom, for nothing else but you. Are you ready?”

“NO!” Tom screamed. “No Bill, don’t jump please, please, don’t jump.”

Tom began to sob; deep, heart wrenching sobs, begging Bill not to jump, not to leave him. Bill’s grip on Tom’s hand loosened and Tom’s eyes snapped open, fearing his brother had jumped.

Standing before him was Bill, black rivulets running down his cheeks where his tears had caused his make-up to run.

“I won’t jump Tom, if you don’t.”

Tom nodded and collapsed forward off the ledge into Bill’s outstretched hands. The two fell to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. Tom wrapped his arms tightly around Bill, needing to feel his warmth, his life. Bill embraced Tom in return, feeling the need to protect him, to prove to him he is loved.

Tom kissed his brother on the forehead and looked deep into his eyes. “Don’t ever leave me Bill, please.”

“I never will, Tom. Even in death I would have been by your side. Forever, remember?”

“Forever!” Tom repeated, embracing his brother once more, needing his heat.

They lay upon the roof for a while, comforting each other, promising to never leave the other, while the world lay so far beneath them, out of view.

ENDE




So, what you think? I was gonna end it with Bill and Tom jumping, but I couldn't, I love them too much! Plus I know neither would ever let the other jump so they saved themselves.
Anyway, please let me know what you think! to all who review

u know reading this...my story looks trash. now i wanna cry. but wow, just amazing...this was like a roller coaster ride. and good i didnt name my story please dont jump, as earlier planned. but this was just great.

lol thanks for the nice words. Your story wasn't trash, it was really good! You can't compare the stories cos in yours Bill gets saved by romantic love and in mine Tom is saved by brotherly love. Yours is really good so don't say it's trash, everyone thinks their own stories are trash but they rarely are I often think mine are trash

ah yeah right..u stories and trash...fuck it!
u're brilliant...and now ur my beta

*blushes* aww you think I'm brilliant *dances spastically*

of course i think ure brilliant!

*haw u changed ur cat eyes siggy* NEINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Lol I'll be flippin between sigs don't worry, I just thought I'd use Bill touching himself sexily as my sig for a while *gasps at sexiness of pic *

well its sexy enusff to make me drool...catch u at the board games now..tada

Mein Gott =[[[[[

I totally love this...... its really emotional ='[[[[

i wasn't feling like this in a while but with this.... i found myself again sooo a big danke =]]

i had to watch the Don't jump video while reading it and it was perfect.

You are an amazing writer =]] Keep it up =]]]]

And this fan fic is one of the bestest EVER

OMG this is so emotional

Whoa ...... god ya make me sad when i fink about dat lol *claps* masterpiece

Summary: All of my memories keep you near...
Rating: PG
Warnings: Death and grief

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Such a dark and stormy day, the clouds bore down upon me, heavy, black, pendulous, waiting to burst and shower the earth below in a thousand tiny tear drops; waiting to cry. It was as though the weather was mimicking my feelings. What was it they called that? We learnt about it once in English literature, when inanimate objects seem to reflect the feelings of the people around them; pathetic fallacy I think.

Such a funny phrase; pathetic fallacy. Pathetic: inspiring pity in others, marked by sorrow or melancholy. Fallacy: a mistake in reasoning. Both seemed so fitting for a day like this, a day marked by sorrow and melancholy; a day when I desperately hoped there was a mistake in reasoning. Today is the day the world will forever stand still for me.

It’s started to rain. I can feel the cool raindrops pattering down around me, soaking through my sleek black hair, causing my dark make up to run. I used to make such a fuss about these things; always worrying about my hair, my clothes, my make up and now these things seem so useless, so worthless.

I want it to rain harder. I want it to pour down. I want a monsoon. But I won’t run through it, I won’t fight it; I’ll let it take me away back to you.

I’m here now, can you see me? I like to think you can but maybe that’s just all in my head.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You weren’t supposed to leave me like you did. We grew up together, we spent our childhood and teenage years together, fighting through the pain and tears, laughing along with the happiness and freedom. We were there together. I never feared the world because I knew you were right there beside me, there to help me when I couldn’t help myself anymore.

We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to face scary things like the adult world, growing up, starting a family, getting old. All of these things we were supposed to do together but now you’ve gone and left me to face these things alone. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this alone, to do this without you. I can’t even face this day alone; how will I ever face the rest of my life alone, without you? I can’t do it, it’s too hard, life is too hard without you.

You told me once, before your death, that I had to continue living, even though you couldn’t. You made me promise I’d keep living once you were gone, that I wouldn’t give up on my life just because yours was over. Back then, I agree because I didn’t think your life would end, not really. I knew you were sick but I didn’t want to believe how sick you were. You’d always been the epitome of strength to me; of course you couldn’t die, not until I did at least.

I promised you I’d try but I can’t. I can’t try without you, I can’t even breathe without you let alone live! Remind me again it’s worth it all, send me a sign somehow. Without you, it isn’t worth it, it isn’t worth anything and I know this.

You’re gone. I know you are, I knew the moment you left this world because I felt a part of me leaving it with you. One year later to the date, you died one year ago exactly and yet I’m still not whole.

I’ll never be whole again with you gone and even the memories I have of you, the memories I hold dear, aren’t enough to keep me living when you’re gone.

I prayed every day for you to stay with me, for you to never leave but it didn’t work. You still left. Nothing I did could ever make you stay with me. I tried so hard to keep you here, I tried so hard to keep you by my side and yet you still went away.

Here I stand now, looking down at what remains of you, a simple headstone, nothing more. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and slowly they trickle down my cheeks, mingling with the rain pattering down, drenching me.

My mind drifts back to the memories I have of us. Smiling, laughing, joking, things we used to do in the past, things we did together, just me and you. You were always the light in my life and now you’re gone, the light is gone too.

I’ll never forget you, please know that. To me you’ll be forever sacred. It’s true, you will. I’ll love you till the end of time! Please know this, please believe it. I’ve never felt anything as strong as this before, I know my love for you will carry on forever. I’ll never forget you, I can’t.

You’ve always been a part of me, the biggest part of me, the only part of me. We were once two halves of a whole and not just in a figurative way, in a literal way! We were one and nature decided to split us into two. We developed together, we morphed and grew around one another, we became part of one another and now you’re gone.

I love you dearest brother of mine. I’ll love you forever, and I’ll never forget your smiling face, your bright brown eyes shimmering with happiness and delight, your warm embrace as you held me tight, comforting me after another nightmare, another fight, another kick in the teeth from life. Your heart used to beat so strongly I was sure it was beating for both of us and now it’s stopped and so has mine.

Life took from me the one thing that made it worth it all; it took you!

“I’ll love you till the end of time!” I scream into the darkness, kneeling down in the wet grass, trying to get as close to you as possible. I would claw through the earth if I could to get to you, but you aren’t really there beneath me, it’s just your body. You, your essence, your life has moved on to somewhere better. Wait for me, I’ll be there soon, Tomi.

Tom Kaulitz
September 1st 1989
October 21st 2008
Beloved son
Devoted brother
The other half me - Bill
Adored by millions, loved by one.

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Writing this made me realise one thing. We all may say 'Oh I love Bill/Tom the most' but in reality we never will, no matter how much we love them, our love will never be as strong as the love they have for one another as brothers, as friends, as twins, as parts of one another.

Inspired by the song Memories - Within Temptation

omg im crying ..... thats so sad.....i cant/ wont let that happen to Bill ..... yet you made just one mistake;


Tom Kaulitz
September 1st 1989
October 21st 2008
Beloved son
Devoted brother
The other half me - Bill
Adored by millions, loved by one [wrong] two


he is loved by me.

Chloe I'm sorry, i can't read this
I won't read this...you know why.